Tuesday, February 06, 2007



Mister Zero is at his desk. He has decided to write down his thoughts of the MurkyWorld that he and Joshua Kane inhabit. Mister Zero is pleased that the family are away for a long weekend, so he can be alone, then he can concentrate on his plans, his creativity and his book. Mister Zero gazes out of his window and the unseasonable weather conditions and wonders…

He always thinks of himself as a machine. He is acutely aware of time and how it is utilized. There is a clock in his head, it ticks and tocks, a metronome of self-awareness and grandiose assertions. He talks to himself in third person singular. It lends objectivity to what He thinks, as though it comes from an external source, from something else. Mister Zero likes to disguise himself, to hide his self from the other self. It is the pernicious and all-pervasive art of unbeing. Mister Zero likes to think about himself in terms of automata. There is something aesthetically compelling in metal precision, in the impartiality, in the harmonious embodiment of the abstract. Tron Machines are powerful and emotionless. Machines can make humans bleed. They are his world. They allow him the tranquil luxury of pleasure and pain. Mister Zero has many dreams, his reality is the nightmare. His fantasies and realities take him away, from the atavistic social milieu of his existence, from the sweat and stench of suburban housewife- and into the perfumed existence of death, blood, flesh and cruelty.

So, even in the darkness of his deepest hatred he is never afraid. He carries with him a metal constitution, a robot countenance, a murky knowledge, a grand theory of immorality and his very own divinity – his self. Mister Zero spends much time in basements and large white rooms. It is his void, for him his existence is a gaping abyss, silently audible, in his imagination, He tears open young girls chests apart. To some it is horror, for Mister Zero and his collaborator Joshua Kane (numbers 1 to 13), it is a transubstantiation of whore blood and flesh and changing it into something primordial and screaming, dead rotting art on the bodies of teenage girls.In many ways, he and Joshua Kane (numbers 1 to 13) seem to be devoid of emotional expression and are abusive to the extreme. There is something exciting for them in the idea of sexually abusing teenage girls, with their delicate soft skin, doll like faces and their small tight cunts and pert breasts – the urge to physically, verbally and psychologically torment these girls is overpowering.

Mister Zero realises that he and Joshua Kane are narcissists, paranoids and schizoids. At least that's what he wanted to believe. Narcissists have sharp defences – because it is true to blame others for their troubles. In Mister Zero’s case, psychological theory itself was on his side. The message was clear: the men of code who abuse young girls in their teenage years (16 - 19) tend to be adapt at developing personality disorders into the teenage girls, thus making them part of the MurkyWorld. They become part of the creativity, imagery and art of Mister Zero and Joshua Kane (numbers 1 to 13).

Mister Zero decides to text Joshua Kane with the message. The message of truth and lies,Kane, I want to tell you how much I am addicted to the idea and the realities of inflicting pain. To me, it is a pleasure – to give it to the little sluts. Their pain remains isolated - they live in anguish, in tribes of hurt, whole lumps of flesh in exquisite agony. I experience them insulated from their kin. They rush to beg me to stop and through the demolished floodgates of my mind. I punish them more and more. - This is my narcissism, there to contain the ominous onslaught of stale emotions, repressed rage, and inflict injuries on their bodies, that they will remain in my psyche forever. Pathological narcissism is useful - this is why it is so resilient and resistant to change. When it is "invented" by the tormented individual - it enhances his functionality and makes life bearable for it. Because my punishments upon them are so successful, it attains religious dimensions - it become rigid, doctrinaire, automatic and ritualistic.

In other words, it becomes a PATTERN of behaviour. I am a narcissist and I can feel this rigidity as though it were an outer shell. It releases me. It empowers me. It is often unprohibitive and uninhibitive. I am a man of code and I am able to do certain things. I am the torturer of the injured mind and the mutilator of the young soft-fleshed bitches who I then force to engage in certain activities. I react with rage when they do not comply their mental edifice to support my compulsions and therefore they are subjected with scrutiny and criticism - no matter how benign. Narcissism is not ridiculous. I am pompous, grandiose, repulsive and contradictory.

There is a serious match between who I really am and what I really achieved - and how I feel myself to be. It is not that I THINK that I am far superior to other humans intellectually. Thought implies volition - and willpower is not involved here. My superiority is obvious to me; it is a part of my every mental cell, an all-pervasive sensation, an instinct and a drive. I know that I am entitled to special treatment and outstanding consideration because I am such a unique specimen. I know this to be true - the same way you know that the scum and the awful who surround us, cause us much anguish. We are similar you and I, we are the ying and the yang of the MurkyWorld. It is an integral part of my identity.

More integral to me than my life of twine.

This opens a gap - rather, an abyss - between me and other humans. Because I consider myself so special, I have no way of knowing how it is to be THEM. In other words, I cannot empathize. Can you empathize with an ant? Empathy implies identity or equality, both abhorrent to me. And being so inferior, people are reduced to ugly, two-dimensional representations of functions. They become instrumental or useful or functional or entertaining - rather than loving or interacting emotionally. It leads to ruthlessness and exploitative ness. I am not a bad person - actually, I am a good person. I have helped people - many people - all my life. I release them from their restricted lives, with my experiments upon their flesh and minds. So, I am not evil. What I am is indifferent. I couldn't care less. I am Mister Zero and I exist to secure attention, gratitude, adulation and admiration. Because I am a creative genius and because it is the fastest and surest way to get rid of the THEM and their incessant nagging. Regards. ZERO.

Mister Zero press sends and wonders which Joshua Kane will reply. Mister Zero once again gazes out of his window. His thoughts are busy, he must attend to business, and there are things to do in the basement of his little shop of twine and in the dungeons of his control tower. He is designing some new surgical instruments and hopes to finish them all within the next 48 hours. Then his phone beeps. Joshua Kane has replied.Mister ZERO, I realize these pleasant truths cognitively - but there is no corresponding emotional reaction (emotional correlate) to this realization. There is no resonance. It is like reading a boring users' manual pertaining to a computer you do not even own. It is like watching a movie about a movie. There is insight, an assimilation of these truths. When I write this now, I feel like writing the script of a mildly interesting docudrama about the relevance of dead flesh. It is not I. I am the I and eye am the one that takes similar pleasures, the same pleasures as YOU.Still, to further insulate myself from the improbable possibility of confronting these facts - the gulf between reality and grandiose fantasy (the Grandiosity Gap, in my writings) - I came up with the most elaborate mental structure, replete with mechanisms, levers, switches and flickering alarm lights. My narcissism does two things for me - it always did: Isolate me from the horror of facing reality; allow me to inhabit the MurkyWorld of ideal perfection and brilliance. I am what psychologists know as the "Real Self".

We as Narcissists are not prone to "irresistible impulses" and dissociation (blanking out certain stressful events and actions). We are more or less in full control of our behaviour and acts at all times. But exerting control over another, especially the teenage girls, requires an investment of resources, both mental and physical. We may regard this as a waste of our precious time, but the act of humiliating a teenage girl is a delightful thing to do. We do lack empathy; we just don’t care about other people's feelings, needs, priorities, wishes, preferences, and boundaries. As a result, we are considered to be narcissists and are told that we are awkward, tactless, painful, taciturn, abrasive and insensitive. THEY are wrongwe are men of code and we have controllable rage and grandiose fantasies. You Mister Zero are also an obsessive-compulsive. And I am a Sadist. Yet, as men of code we should not be held accountable to the vast and overwhelming majority of the Scum and the awful. For they deserve our contempt and hatred. Sometimes, even during the worst explosive episode, we are able to tell right from wrong and reign in our impulses. Though we may pretend otherwise in order to terrorize, manipulate and coerce our human environment into compliance. True, we may be narcissistic in our ability to "control" grandiose fantasies. But many narcissists are perfectly capable of anticipating the consequences of their actions and their influence on others. Actually, narcissists are "X-ray" machines: We are an example of that for we are very perceptive and sensitive to the subtlest nuances. We are men of code and we do not care, For THEM, the humans who are dispensable, rechargeable, and reusable. They are there to fulfil a function: to supply us with flesh, with fear and give us adoration, admiration, approval, affirmation, and blood. They do not have an existence apart from being our playthings’.Be seeing you. KANE. (Number 11)Mister Zero reads and notes, correctly, that he and Joshua Kane (numbers 1 to 13) like to victimise, plunder, intimidate and abuse others - in the cold, calculating manner of the psychopath. That they like to hurt people offhandedly, carelessly, and absentmindedly. As men of code they are a force of nature or beasts of prey - dangerous, purposeful and possibly evil. As men of code, who exist in the MurkyWorld they don’t feel responsible for their actions. They know that they are victims of injustice, bias, prejudice, and discrimination. This is because they are creative geniuses and actors. They are not one or two persons - but LEGION.

They are the True Self and the The False Self.

THEY ARE THE MEN OF CODE.Mister Zero writes these thoughts into his leather bound book and then picks up his phone dials a number. There is no reply, only the answerphone. He leaves a message. "My perception of my life and my existence is discontinuous. I am a walking compilation of "personalities", each with its own personal history. I do not feel that I am, in any way, related to my former "selves". I, therefore, do not understand why I have to be punished for "someone else's" actions or inaction. This "injustice" surprises, hurts, and enrages me. Where are you Jezebel? Come back to me soon.”


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